A Eulogy Only a Loving Sister Could Write

Carrie Danyelle Clevenger's Eulogy for her big sister Cynthia Dawn

Thank you all for being here today to celebrate the life of Cynthia Dawn Clevenger. For

those of you who don’t know, I am Dawn’s little sister, Carrie. It is my honor to stand

here today and tell you a little bit about my big sister. Some things you will remember

and some things you never knew about her.

How do you begin to summarize the life of someone under 5 minutes? Especially

someone you’ve never known a day without until recently. Well, I’ll start with February

21, 1974 when Dawn was born to our parents, Charlie and Susie. From what I was told,

Dawn was quick to learn all things from talking to walking. She was quite the talker,

picking up words and full sentences well beyond that of the typical toddler. And her

reasoning skills were a bit freakishly adult-like. One of my favorite stories is how our

mom had to make a controlled effort to refer to our dad as Dad or Daddy any time Dawn

was around because as soon as she began speaking, she was calling him Charlie.

Well, it was his name, right? My dad says she used to stumble up to him, with shaky

legs and breathing heavily, as toddlers do, and bring his head down to her mouth to

whisper in his ear, “Hey Charlie”. I love that story. And, at 4 years old she became a big

sister. And what a proud big sister she was. My first memories are mostly of me and

Dawn singing Donna Summer’s “Bad Girls” and dancing around our totally awesome

record player that lit up and changed colors when the music played. Just last Christmas

she told me that that record player was her favorite Christmas present of all time.

Dawn became a Texan in 1981 when we moved from a tiny town in Missouri to

apartment number 111 in Baytown, TX. It was in Baytown where she developed that

thick, east Texas twang and fell in love with the Bayous and wetlands. This love of

nature turned into a passion for preservation and advocacy in her adulthood. She

worked for Air Alliance, a clean air advocacy group in Houston. In about 2008 she went

to work for the Galveston Bay Estuary program as the communication coordinator and

was there for over 10 years. By the time she was 13 she had discovered her voice as a

singer in the church choirs singing hymns like “Amazing Grace” and “It is Well With My

Soul”. Soon after this shy, twangy girl transformed from a blushing teenager into a

singer with a message when the microphone was in her hand. Music was probably

Dawn’s first language. Not only was she a singer, she played 3 stringed instruments: the

viola, violin, and mandolin. In times of trouble, she’d turn to her muses: Bradi Carlile,

Bach, Aretha Franklin, Chopin, The Beatles, Beethoven, Whitney Houston, Schubert,

Eddie Vedder, Franz Listz, and definitely Dave Gorhl, especially in the last year of her

life. Fun fact: She absolutely LOVED K-pop - Nobody’s perfect!). Music was at the

center of Dawn’s life and no matter the situation, she had a song for it, to experience the

moment with, to express those thoughts and feelings she could not find words for.

Music was, and still is, a way to connect with her. In fact, when I looked at the last song

she listened to was, “Here Comes the Sun” by the Beatles.

 

She was at peace. And she knew I’d look to see what she was listening to. And she

left us notes, literal notes in songs to remember her.

Dawn was a steward of the planet. She made a career out of advocacy, helping to raise

awareness and funds for Galveston Bay. She was passionate about trash! Many of her

efforts focused on educating the community about how trash affects their quality of life

and why we should all care about cleaning up our communities and protecting the

precious eco-systems around us. She also cared about the wildlife in Galveston Bay,

taking time to educate herself on the various species of animals living in and around the

bay. Dawn was the poster child for a proud Bayou Texan, putting words into action to

protect the land she loved. So, when you see a cup making its way down a stream, pick

it up and throw it away. She’d be proud of you. And, when you’re driving or walking in

the Greater Houston area, look down at the street drains. No, you won’t see a scary

clown, but you may see a logo that says “Back the Bay”. Think of her when you do. She

helped to develop that program.

It’s hard to stand before you today and not acknowledge her illness. We all had, and

still have, so many questions. Dawn fought a righteous battle with her health for 27

years and got very little answers. She was the question no doctor could answer. Gosh,

she was so extra! But, despite her decades long health crisis, she experienced some

pretty amazing things.

 

A few things you may not know about her:

● Dawn graduated from the University of Houston with degrees in journalism and

political science

● 2007 she was selected to serve as one of Sen. Ellis’s interns, working closely

with him in Austin at the capital. This was an incredible time in her life, witnessing

the excitement and ugliness of politics with a front row seat. She loved that

internship.

● She was an English mentor, meeting with her student at the library each

Saturday to read and engage in English.

● She traveled internationally - to London, Italy, and Australia

● She loved cooking and trying new recipes.

● She was an avid reader! She read everything from autobiographies to

adventurous fiction

● She organized the 11th annual State of the Bay symposium in January 2020

● One of her favorite animals was the koala and in 2017 she got the opportunity to

hold when she traveled to Australia

● She loved the holidays! The music, the smells, the lights. The Mariah Carey

And shopping for gifts to give her loved ones. She knew how to jingle all the

way.

● She loved stupid movies, starring Jim Carey and would watch and rewatch them

throughout the years.

● Her favorite colors were aqua-teal and peachy blush

● She loved CBS news her entire life. When she was a toddler, she would sit at the

coffee table, shuffle papers and repeat "CBS news and CBS news and CBS news"

● She was stubborn and knew what she wanted and what she didn't want. 2

examples: when she was on the side of a mountain and refused to walk anymore

simply because she was DONE. She was only 3 at this incident. And in 1989ish

when she received some cash for her birthday and knew exactly what she wanted to

do with her new fortune - white boots with fringe and turquoise accents. We

shopped all day long, bobbing in and out of shoe stores all over Baytown, but the

perfect pair hadn't been found yet. On our last stop for the day, Kinney Shoes

over by the old Sack and Save. Dad insisted that THIS was the last stop. He was

exhausted. Mom and I stayed in the car and about 30 minutes went by and

then...I saw her. In my mind she was walking to the car in slow motion. Her big

80s bangs bouncing. A smirk stretched across her face. And those boots. She

was wearing them! When she got in the back seat with me all I could do is stare

at those boots. She was the coolest big sister on the planet in that moment. She

quickly snapped at me, "don't touch them!"

● She had a wicked sense of humor, often poking fun of herself and her odd

medical situations. She loved to laugh, though. And her laugh often led to snorts

and unidentifiable gurgles.

● She was a NERD! She loved sci-fi shows and movies. She was a rare breed of

sci-fi geek, as both a trekkie and a Jedi. And I am happy to say that, despite the

length of time between releases and distance between us, Dawn and I saw every

single Star Wars movie AT the theater together. That’s a 40 plus year

commitment. One of my favorite memories is in 2015 when we went to see The

Force Awakens. We were back in our 10- and 6-year-old mind-sets, screaming

with childlike joy when the movie started, and completely diving into the drama.

Spoiler alert! When Han was killed by his own son, Dawn and I were so

distraught that we shouted and screamed out loud as if we were the only two in

the theater. After the movie was finished, the couple sitting down the row from us

leaned over to look at us. We thought they may have been upset with us for

ruining their movie watching experience. Then the lady said to us, in a thick

Texas accent, “I don’t know what was better! The movie or watching you two

WATCH the movie”. We had a fun time that night.

 

Dawn was a RomCom junkie. (RomCom is code of Romantic Comedy) She loved all

things LOVE. Valentine’s Day, sappy cards and treats, soft, plush teddy bears. Her

favorite shape was the heart. In 2018, she got to start her own RomCom story when she

reconnected with her high school crush, Daniel Bobby Blanchard. This name was not

unfamiliar to me. Oh no, I remember the days when Dawn would come home and talk

about the quiet boy in her English class. She’d go on and on about him, his leather

jacket, and how cute he was. When they started chatting on Facebook again, she called

me to tell me about this guy she had a church on named Daniel. To which I responded,

“Daniel Blanchard?” Yeah, I never forgot that name. She crushed hard on him in

high school. Dawn and Daniel pretty much fell in love on their first date at the Houston

Air Show. And their story encouraged us all to be brave and never give up on love, even

when it felt scary or temporary. They were simply perfect for one another! They spoke

the same “language” as they both dealt with illness, going to the doctors together, sitting

with one another through various treatments and procedures. For Dawn and Daniel,

there was nobody else who understood them like each other. On September 22, 2019

Daniel was released from his earthly body. Our collective hearts were broken, but we

knew Daniel was finally at peace. The loss of Daniel was significant and crushing, but

we knew he was no longer shackled by pain and worry. He was free. And, onn January

26, 2022, we let our Cynthia Dawn go to the arms of her beloved Daniel. He was waiting

for her. While it feels like a massive hole in our hearts, not having either one of them

with us now, what a gift to know that they are together, free of pain, illness, and earthly

worries. They can now continue their story in the Infinity. And, what a gift Dawn and

Daniel gave to their families just by falling in love. These two families have walked

through the valley of the shadow of death together. Leaning on one another in the

darkest times of our lives. But we’ve also joined in celebration of our Dawn and Daniel,

their love, and now their reunion. The Blanchard’s and the Clevenger’s, eternally bonded

by love. We love you Maria, Edward, Joseph, Irene. You know more than anyone else

our pain, our grief. Thank you for holding us so that we could let Dawn go to Daniel.

I stand before you today, Cynthia Dawn's little sister. A 44-year-old little girl who has no

idea what to do without her big sister. Without her sissy dolly. Mom and Dad and I have

experienced these last 27 years together, with Dawn. And now she is gone. She is free

of pain and illness, experiencing the cosmos. Filling her lungs with Star dust. She’s

singing songs with Aretha Franklin and Whitney Houston. Cuddling her pets who went

before her. She is embracing our grandparents, holding their hands, listening to all

the stories they tell for the 100th time. She’s sitting at a piano with Prince discussing

starfish and coffee. She’s feverishly taking notes in a 4th Wave Feminist Theory master

class taught by the Notorious RBG (Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg) and she’s wielding

light sabers with THE Princess Leia, Carrie Fisher. She's kissing her Daniel. She's

happy. But here we all are with sore hearts and unlimited tears. We miss her and don't

know exactly what to do right now, do we?

My sister led a full life and touched many hearts in her 47 years. My parents and I have

received several messages and phone calls from close friends, and from strangers we

never knew. They all wanted to share a story about how Cynthia Dawn Clevenger

influenced them, encouraged them, and was a source of light and hope to them.

When I reflect on the things I heard my sister say to others in times of trouble or

darkness, and recall the things she said to me when I was in trauma and in fear, I feel

confident that I know my sister well enough to be her mouth piece for you all today. If

Cynthia Dawn could leave you with any words it would probably be these:

● Remember to laugh! Especially at yourself!

● Give in to the long belly laughs and awkward snorts.

● Enjoy the quiet days, those rare moments when you don’t have anything on your

schedule.

● Watch all of the movies and read all of the books!

● Be kind to the planet and pick up your trash for goodness sake.

● Celebrate all of the holidays! Play the annoying Christmas song. You know the

one. Bake the cakes and carve the turkeys.

● Be yourself, even if they call you weird or loud or “extra”.

● Call or text someone when you’re thinking about them. They are waiting to hear

from you.

● Book the trip! Go see the thing you want to see! Eat the foods you want to eat.

Have the adventure you want to have. Life is too short to not go!

● Listen to music! All kinds of music! Never underestimate the power of a really

good song, the kind you feel in your blood, in your bones.

● Be kind to yourself.

● Practice grace.

● Understand that you are worthy of love and deserve it. All of it.

● Remember our happiest days together and please have more happy days

without me.

● Forgive each other.

● Forgive yourself.

● Mom, Dad, Sister - keep going to the Blanchard's on Christmas Eve and make

the tamales. It’s Joseph’s favorite thing to do!

● Love one another wholly, and unapologetically.

● Remember to live life forward

● live long and prosper. 🖖

● And, may the Force be with You.