Learning to Swim Where You Dreamed
Walls of ocean blue welcome me every time I open your bedroom door. It was the color you chose amongst all the swatches that slipped through your fingers. There must have been fifty shades of sea and sky you pondered before you found the one that spoke of waves and splashes of joy. I roam amongst your things in a dream state traveling from when you were a little girl until spring brought flowers in vases earmarked with condolences. Broken doesn’t seem to be a bold enough word to describe how I feel, yet I feel shards of longing splinter my ribs where my heart lies scarred by hours of yearning to hold you. Oh sorrow, you are a conundrum. It is both tears and joy. I cry from your absence and sing because of your freedom. I stumble and I dance getting through what I’ll never get over. Dear Dawn, my precious daughter, I am trying to be strong in my weakness, be a light when I’m besieged with gray. In this room of blue I’ve splattered with growing green plants