Does Grief Have a Map

My daughter, Cynthia Dawn and her fiancé, Daniel
Daniel Bobby Blanchard
JUNE 19, 1974 – SEPTEMBER 22, 2019
Cynthia Dawn Clevenger
February 21, 1974 – January 26, 2022

Your faces sit in every room
except the place where I sleep.
In that place of dreams, you visit
me where impossible has no chair.

Daylight so often has me standing
before your photographs never certain
if I will cry or smile, or attempt
to hear you speak from ink trapped beneath glass.

I drift between memories and present
wondering if I’m losing my mind.
Does grief have a map to guide 
me back to whole?

Each day is an envelope I must open,
a letter telling me you’re no longer here.
Perhaps being strong is simply
taking a step trusting I won’t fall. 

©Susie Clevenger 2024

Comments

  1. MaryJuly 17, 2024 at 3:41 PM

    Oh Susie, this is so heartbreaking. Not only to lose your daughter but also her fiancee two years early. Your poem conveys your pain so well. The last stanza took my breath away! Blessings to you, Susie.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sherry Blue SkyJuly 17, 2024 at 7:29 PM

    This speaks straight to my heart, Susie. So much loss is unfathomable, testing the limits of the strongest of warrior women. The line I love most: each day is an envelope I must open. Sending you a hug, my friend.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Sumana RoyJuly 17, 2024 at 10:22 PM

    This life is a journey, a very, very difficult journey, Susie, especially people like us who had suffered bereavements like this. Sometimes I am amazed at how we are still trudging on with such heartbreaking moments. "Perhaps being strong is simply / taking a step trusting I won’t fall." So true.

    ReplyDelete
  4. alan1704July 18, 2024 at 4:01 AM

    heart breaking - loss is so terrible and your poem conveys the heartbreak. Well done.

    ReplyDelete
  5. RajaniJuly 18, 2024 at 8:10 PM

    Does grief have a map to guide / me back to whole? - loss is that terrible abyss and we hope grief will be that map to bring us back to the surface... to take that one step... hugs and strength to you, Susie.

    ReplyDelete
  6. DoraJuly 19, 2024 at 12:37 PM

    Heartbreak made palpable, it brought me to tears, Susie. My heart is full as I pray for your comfort, your strength for each step of this hard journey.

    ReplyDelete

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